The grass is always greener ...

I took the kids out for lunch today because we really needed to get out of the house and I couldn't think of anything else to do. So, I took the two of them by myself up to Zoes Kitchen and it was pretty packed. I had Delaney in the baby carrier on one arm and Jake holding my other hand and Jakes backpack and my purse on my shoulders. As we walked in I saw nothing but people in business clothes having lunch with their co-workers/friends. A few people stopped their conversations to look at me almost like they were taken aback a little bit by a mom with two kids walking into a restaurant full of business people.

I watched women gab with friends/coworkers, 20-something girls talking about boys and dates, people talking business and laughing and then there was me. Me, who had to shovel in my lunch while simultaneously feeding Delaney a bottle and encouraging Jake to keep his bottom DOWN in the chair and eat just one more bite of his orange.

I started to feel some of the the loneliness and isolation that comes with being a stay-at-home-mom. I know there were people watching me and smiling at me with that "ooh, I'm sorry, that really sucks" type smile. I started remembering what it was like to go to work with co-workers and to have that 1 hour break to socialize. I remembered how nice it was to get in the car and go to lunch to have an hour of freedom. Or even just to be able to get up and go somewhere without worrying if I had a sippy cup, diapers, snacks etc. It made me a little sad.

I really do love being a stay-at-home-mom. But, there are days, like today, when I wish I could have my old life back for just a week or so. But, then I would miss the kids and be sad that they were being raised by daycare instead of by me. I would miss sitting on the floor and doing puzzles with Jake. I would miss snuggling on the couch with Delaney during Jake's nap time. I think I would even miss those witching hours between nap and bedtime. So, I guess what it boils down to is that either way, I think I would always feel a twinge of jealousy or sadness for the "other" life. SAHM or WOHM ... its never a perfect choice.